I don't know why I always feel the need to question everything in my life lately. I mean if it makes me happy and I am content, why should I question it, right? I guess with my 30th birthday around the corner I am constantly evaluating my life; past, present and future.
I guess I believe that I have done alright so far. I mean I have traveled, paid off my student loans, have a great job, live in a beautiful city in a nice apartment near the beach, have a great boyfriend, I am making new friends,and I just bought a new car. Sounds pretty great right? And it is! I feel so lucky and truly blessed, but sometimes I crave more. Maybe I still have the travel bug? Maybe I want to settle down and pop out a few kids? I am not really sure.
I guess for the past year or so I have had a significant amount of time to myself. I live alone and have been now for almost two years. no roommates, partners or friends there, just me. I come home to the company of myself with no one to talk to, so I guess I think a lot. I guess with all the thinking comes the constant evaluation.
I am not unhappy. The would be inaccurate. I am just not sure. I think I just want more. I want to be more. I want to truly make a difference in people lives. I really want to help the youth and the babies I work with. I want to love big and feel it back in all areas of my life. I am just thinking a lot about everything, but I am not unhappy. I think I am actually pretty happy. Maybe this questioning and thought is not bad at all. I am just not sure.
No comments:
Post a Comment